The Mayor of Greed
A short story.
There once was a town called Greed run by businessfolk in smart suits and fancy ties. It boasted an abundance of big businesses that sold expensive wines and fabulous dresses. The smallest business was a poor little pawnshop. The big businessfolk of Greed agreed that the shop was very poor indeed, and they petitioned the mayor to rid Greed of it in three days, or else they would strip the mayor of his position.
At this, the mayor of Greed grew afraid, for he’d grown wealthy off the taxes of the businessfolk. He donned his smartest suit and fanciest tie and hurried to the pawnshop, which he resolved to seize or robber, and put the shop out of business forever.
Upon entering the pawnshop, brick and cracked with age, he was presented with nothing but odd scraps and strange books in its cracked windows. The mayor said to himself, “What a poor little shop. There is nothing here worth stealing!” Nevertheless, he emptied the shelves into a giant cloth bag draped over his shoulder.
After the moon had risen and stars twinkled outside the shop window, and one in three shelves lay empty, a stranger entered. The stranger wore a long cloak and a wide-brimmed hat. They said, “Excuse me, sir. Are you robbing this establishment?”
The mayor puffed out his chest and replied, “Indeed, stranger. There has been a petition posted on the city hall to rid the town of this shop, which is very poor, and ugly besides.”
The stranger bobbed their head and agreed that the shop was very poor indeed. When asked how soon the mayor would return, the mayor reassured the stranger that he would return tomorrow morning. The mayor would empty the shop of its wares within three days, at which point it would surely close and leave town forever.
“Strange,” said the stranger, “that the owner has not returned. Perhaps you should be wary of his displeasure.” But the mayor shrugged and dismissed the stranger’s warning. He said, “I am not afraid of foul weather. Let the man return, and I will show him my displeasure.” At this, the stranger laughed good-naturedly and seemed appeased.
As the mayor made to leave, for his bag was full to bulging, the stranger disappeared behind a shelf. He returned with three bottles of wine. He said, “Before you leave, I insist you take this in return for cleansing the pawnshop from this city.”
The mayor thanked the stranger and paid them a single penny for the kind gesture, thinking himself very lucky to have met such an affable person. But the moment he stepped outside the shop, the red wine turned to muddy sludge, thick and rotten.
The mayor, who did not take kindly to being tricked, tossed the lousy wine at a nearby drunk, who was so thankful for the drink that he kissed the mayor’s shoes.
The next day, the mayor received news that a man under his employ had come across a magical elixir that bestowed great beauty on whoever drank it. It was the drunk!
The mayor returned to the shop, which he emptied of possessions until a whole two of three shelves lay empty, and clouds blew across the midnight sky, which promised foul weather to come.
Just as before, a stranger entered as the mayor was leaving. They asked whether the mayor had liked the wine he’d been gifted. The mayor, who did not wish to let on that he’d been tricked, assured the stranger that the wine had been excellent indeed.
The stranger was pleased. They said, “I can do you one even better,” and they disappeared behind a shelf and returned with a magnificent wedding dress. The mayor offered the stranger a single penny for his kind gesture, thinking himself lucky to have met such a gullible person. But the moment the mayor stepped outside the shop, the beautiful dress transformed into dirty rags.
The mayor, furious at being tricked yet again, tossed the pile of rags at a nearby pimp. The pimp was so grateful for the unexpected gift that he cried tears of joy.
The next day, the mayor received news that a man under his employ had gifted a beautiful dress to his beloved, who was so touched by his generosity that she demanded they be married on the spot. It was the pimp!
The mayor returned to the shop, which he emptied of wares until the moon rose over town, and the shadows in the shop lengthened under the guise of false light. Thunder rumbled as the mayor struggled to lift the heavy bag on his back.
The door opened, and a familiar stranger entered the shop. The mayor said, “It is you! Quick, help me carry this bag out the door.” He offered the stranger a penny for his help in the matter.
The stranger agreed, but no matter how much they struggled, the stranger could not lift the heavy bag.
The mayor grew angry. He said, “You worthless stranger! Three times, you have robbed me of my coin. Return my money and begone from here, or I’ll have you tossed from the town.”
The stranger replied, “The buyer determines the true worth of my services. Three times, you have paid me next-to-nothing and received items of equal value. You have invested in my shop by taking all that I own. I will return your investments threefold, with interest.” As the stranger spoke, the shop grew chill and cool with frost.
The mayor grew frightened at this. He said, “Who are you, stranger?”
The stranger said, “I am the Bodger, owner of this shop. My trash is your treasure, my scraps are your pleasure. Thrice, I’ve tested your mettle and taken your measure. For gifting me grief, I will make you a beggar.” So saying, the creature removed its hat and its cloak, revealing its true form — that of a hunchbacked goblin with batlike ears and a bulging belly.
The clouds dropped their first drops, hot and wet, and lightning split the air, and the citizens of Greed could not but comment on the arrival of such weather, which was very foul indeed.
On the next day, which was mild as Spring and perfect for gathering, the businessfolk of Greed gathered ‘round the mayor’s office and cheered. They said, “The pawnshop is gone, the scourge disappeared! Where is the mayor, to whom we owe thanks?”
“It is I,” cried a voice. “I am your mayor!” But when the crowd parted, it was only a plump beggar who spoke, with not a single coin to his name.
“Off with you!” the crowd cried, and they tossed him from the city. And rumors came to Greed of a pawnshop that sold miraculous cures and brought fabulous wealth to the next town over.
That’s why it’s important to remember these three rules: pay fairly, invest wisely, and, most importantly, never robber the Bodger!
